Am I Broken?

For a long time, I felt like I was broken - like I wasn’t meant to be here. Am I broken? The question haunted me, wrapped itself around my thoughts, and echoed in my heart. A lot of this came from how I was raised and the messages drilled and beaten into me - not only by my alcoholic parents but by teachers and peers who reinforced the idea that I was never enough. The weight of those words, those experiences, settled deep into my bones, making me question my worth at every turn.

But here’s what I want you to know: feeling broken doesn’t mean you are broken.

I learned this through deep work with an extremely good therapist and some powerful Life Coaches who saw in me what I couldn’t yet see in myself. They helped me understand that I am not broken. I am strong. I am beautiful. And in this blog, I want to help you reframe that "broken" feeling for yourself. Because I won’t lie - this feeling still comes up for me. Just the other week, while working with my own Life Coach, I found myself spiraling into old thought patterns, questioning my worth yet again.

But here’s the thing: healing isn’t about never feeling broken again. It’s about knowing what to do when you do. It’s about recognizing that these feelings don’t define you. They are layers to be peeled back, pieces of a story that can be rewritten. Yup, this Life Coach has her own Life Coach and still sees a therapist. These are two non-negotiables in my life because growth isn’t a one-time event - it’s a lifelong process of becoming.

Check out my blog The Problem with Self-Development where I explore this in detail. 

The Beauty in Brokenness

There’s an ancient Japanese art form called Kintsugi—the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold. The cracks don’t get hidden; they become the most valuable part. The damage isn’t erased - it’s honored. The piece becomes stronger, more beautiful, and completely unique.

What if we saw ourselves the same way? What if, instead of trying to erase the pain, we chose to fill our fractures with something precious - wisdom, resilience, and the kind of self-love that can only be forged in the fire of experience?

Psychology Today describes this process of embracing emotional brokenness as essential to healing. It’s about shifting from “I am broken” to “I am evolving” - a mindset that changes everything.

This is a poem, Leslie Becker-Phelps Ph.D., wrote for someone she loves who is struggling with this very issue. It is entitled Imperfectly Perfect.You can read it and also watch her read it here.

Feeling Broken Doesn’t Mean You Are Broken

High-achieving women, especially those in finance and tech, have been conditioned to believe that struggling is weakness. That burnout, exhaustion, and feeling emotionally broken are just part of the price of success. We push harder, numb out, and convince ourselves that if we can just get through this next project, this next promotion, this next crisis - then we’ll rest. But what if the cracks are trying to tell us something?

The feeling of being broken is often a signal, not a truth. Why do I feel broken? Because something within you is calling for attention. Because the weight you’re carrying isn’t sustainable. Because you were never meant to do it all alone.

As Mental Health America explains, feelings of brokenness often arise from the belief that something is inherently wrong with us when we struggle - whether from painful experiences, trauma, or difficulties in work or relationships. But these feelings don’t reflect an unchangeable reality. Acknowledging pain is the first step toward healing, and recognizing that challenges do not define your worth allows you to reclaim your strength.

You are not defined by what has happened to you. You are defined by how you rise.

Can You Fix the Broken?

You don’t need fixing. You need reclaiming.

I work with powerhouse women who feel like they’ve hit a breaking point. They come to me asking, am I having a mental breakdown? Is this burnout? Is this just how life is now?

The truth is, what you’re feeling isn’t a breakdown - it’s a breakthrough waiting to happen. It’s your soul demanding more. More alignment, more rest, more joy, more truth. This isn’t the moment you fall apart forever; this is the moment you begin again.

How Going Through This Journey Makes You Stronger

Healing isn’t just about feeling better - it’s about becoming stronger in ways that truly matter. Stronger how?

I have found this from my own journey and that of my many friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and clients who have identified as "broken." These are the truths that emerged:

1. Emotionally Stronger – Instead of running from emotions or suppressing them, you learn how to sit with them, process them, and respond in ways that serve you rather than sabotage you. Strength isn’t about avoiding pain - it’s about meeting it head-on and knowing you’ll make it through.
2. Mentally Stronger – The old thought patterns - the ones that whispered, “you’re not good enough” - lose their grip on you. You rewire your brain to recognize your own worth, shifting from self-criticism to self-compassion. Over time, this mental resilience becomes unshakable.
3. Stronger in Boundaries – You stop saying yes when you mean no. You stop over-functioning in relationships and workplaces that drain you. You recognize that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
4. Stronger in Self-Trust – Every time you listen to yourself, honor your needs, and choose what truly aligns with you, you build trust within. You stop second-guessing yourself because you’ve proven to yourself that you know what’s best for you.
5. Stronger in Leadership and Influence – The most powerful leaders aren’t the ones who pretend they’ve never struggled. They’re the ones who have walked through fire and come out radiant. When you own your journey, you become a guiding light for others, showing them that it’s possible to rise from the ashes.

The Most Powerful Women I Know Have Cracks Filled with Gold

The world doesn’t need more women who have perfected the art of pretending they’re fine. It needs more women who have embraced their journey, honored their resilience, and stepped forward with their golden cracks on display.

So no, Brave Soul, you are not broken. You are becoming. You are rising. And you are already more powerful than you know.

Ready to Begin Again?

If this resonated with you, I invite you to reflect: What if your cracks weren’t something to fix, but something to cherish?

And if you’re ready to explore what it means to heal, lead, and thrive without burning out, let’s connect. Because your story isn’t over - it’s just getting started.

Let’s start a conversation: What’s one lesson your cracks have taught you? Drop a comment below - I’d love to hear your story.