The Invisible Wounds of a Highly Sensitive Person in the Workplace

As a highly sensitive person (HSP) and an adult child of alcoholics (ACoA), navigating the workplace can be a minefield of triggers and toxic dynamics that others might not even notice. We HSPs, making up about 20% of the population, process information and emotions more deeply, making us more attuned to subtleties in our environment. When you combine this with the lasting impact of growing up in an alcoholic family system, even seemingly "normal" work environments can become toxic.

I know this firsthand as I embody the combination of the ACoA defined family roles Hero, Scapegoat, and Lost Child roles. As the Hero, I've felt the pressure to be perfect, always striving to prove my worth through achievements while battling deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. As the Scapegoat, I've taken on the blame for problems, feeling like an outcast. And as the Lost Child, I've often felt invisible, struggling to express my own needs. These roles have left me with wounds that can't simply be "gotten over." They shape how I interact with the world, including my colleagues. 

In the workplace, this might look like being hypervigilant to mood shifts, overanalyzing interactions, and taking on more than my share of responsibility—all while feeling like an impostor. It's a constant dance of trying to please others, prove myself, and avoid conflict at all costs. But this takes a toll, leading to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of never entirely belonging. 

So, what can we do to heal and thrive as HSP ACoAs? Here are some tips: 

1. Acknowledge your reality. Your experiences and feelings are valid, even if others don't understand them.
2. Set boundaries. Learn to say no and advocate for your needs, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
3. Find safe spaces. Seek out supportive relationships and environments where you can be your authentic self.
4. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend.
5. Seek support. Consider therapy, coaching, or support groups to process your experiences and develop new coping strategies. (Note: Through therapy and coaching I learned how to do tips 1 through 4!)

Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself as you unlearn old patterns and embrace your unique strengths as an HSP ACoA. You are not alone, and you are worthy of thriving in all areas of your life, including your career.

Brave one, your sensitivity is not a weakness but a superpower. Your ability to feel deeply and notice what others miss is a gift that the world needs. Don't let the ghosts of your past dictate your future. You have the strength within you to rise above the challenges, break free from old patterns, and create a life and career that honors your authentic self. Keep shining your light, even in the darkest of places. Your story is far from over, and the best chapters are yet to be written. Onward, brave one. You've got this.

With much love and compassion,

#HighlySensitivePerson #WorkplaceWellness #SelfAwareness