How Burnout Became Normal - And Why High-Achieving Women Are Paying the Price

I spent most of my 33-year career in some form of burnout.

At first, it came in waves - cyclical in nature, tied to the projects I was leading. When this project is done, I can rest. Then came the initiatives. Once we implement this, I can breathe. Then the mergers. Once the dust settles, I’ll take a break. Even my team was part of the equation. Once I can get some leads in place to share the load, I’ll finally slow down.

But the rest never came.

What started as occasional exhaustion became a way of life. A constant state of depletion, always waiting for the next milestone when things would finally get easier. But they never did.

I didn’t call it burnout - I called it overwhelming stress. The kind you push through. The kind you grit your way past because that’s what high-achievers do, right?

I worked through vacations. I worked every weekend. And it wasn’t just work. My home life was equally demanding - I was navigating major challenges with my son and serving as the primary caregiver for my aging mother. The weight of responsibility never let up.

Looking back, I can trace it all the way back to my first manager - the one who asked me to come in on Sundays so she could work uninterrupted. Eight-to-ten-hour Sundays. Week after week. I didn’t question it. I learned that this is what successful people do.

And that’s how burnout became my normal.

As I learned much later, the emotional exhaustion and detachment I experienced were classic signs of burnout. According to this article, burnout isn’t just stress - it’s a state of chronic physical and mental depletion that impacts every area of life.

The Culture That Traps High-Achieving Women in Burnout

I see you.

You’re balancing endless to-do lists at work while managing dinner prep, soccer practice, and family obligations at home. You’re the go-to person for everyone, but no one seems to ask how you’re doing. You tell yourself, “Once I get through this, I’ll take a break.” But that break never comes.

Instead, the deadlines pile up, and the expectations feel heavier. You’re trying to hold everything together, yet you feel like you’re one step away from falling apart.

This isn’t because you’re failing—it’s because the system is designed to keep you running on empty.

Burnout isn’t just personal - it’s systemic.

Somewhere along the way, exhaustion became a badge of honor. We started measuring our worth by how much we could endure.

And let’s be clear - this isn’t an accident.

The systems we work in are designed to extract as much as possible from us while giving back as little as possible. Hustle culture didn’t happen by mistake. It’s reinforced at every level:

🚨 Companies reward those who go “above and beyond” (aka, work past the point of exhaustion).
🚨 Technology keeps us plugged in 24/7, making it impossible to truly disconnect.
🚨 Society glorifies busyness - because slowing down? That’s seen as weakness.

We tell ourselves we just need to “push through burnout” a little longer. That relief is just on the other side of this project, this season, this next thing.

But what if that next thing never ends?

What if the system is built to never let you catch up?

How to Push Through Burnout - Until You Can’t

Burnout doesn’t hit all at once - it erodes you over time.

At first, it’s just fatigue. Maybe a little brain fog.

Then, it’s Sunday night dread. The feeling of being trapped.

Then, it’s health issues - headaches, stomach problems, chronic exhaustion.

Then, it’s numbness. You stop caring. You feel detached from your work, from your family, from yourself.

Until one day, you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the person staring back at you.

And here’s the thing - this isn’t just about you.

💡The effects of burnout ripple far beyond the individual. Families feel the strain, workplaces suffer, and industries lose momentum. Productivity declines. Creativity fades. Innovation halts. People don’t leave because they’re unmotivated - they leave because they’ve reached their limit.

This isn’t how we’re meant to live or work.

High-achieving women often struggle with perfectionism and imposter syndrome, which can make it even harder to set boundaries. As I shared in this article, the drive to prove our worth can keep us stuck in the burnout loop. 

Expand Your Vision: The Life You Deserve Is Within Reach

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine waking up without the weight of overwhelm pressing on your chest. You walk into your day with clarity and purpose, feeling confident that your boundaries are protecting your time and energy.

Instead of rushing from one obligation to the next, you move intentionally. You feel connected—to your work, your family, and most importantly, to yourself.

This isn’t a far-off dream - it’s possible. And it starts with reclaiming your life, one decision at a time.

How to Push Back Against a System That Runs on Your Burnout

If you’re waiting for permission to stop the cycle - this is it.

Burnout became normal because we allowed it to be. It will only change if we demand better. And that starts with you.

1. Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself About Work

Somewhere along the way, we equated exhaustion with excellence. That narrative needs to go.

🚫 Working late doesn’t mean you’re dedicated.
🚫 Answering emails at 10 PM doesn’t make you a team player.
🚫 Being constantly available doesn’t make you indispensable.

What if true success isn’t about how much you can take on - but about how well you protect your energy?

2. Set Boundaries Like Your Life Depends on It (Because It Does)

Let’s get one thing straight: Boundaries are NOT negotiable.

🔹 Stop answering emails after hours.
🔹 Decline the meetings that should’ve been an email.
🔹 Say NO without apologizing.

Your energy is a limited resource. If you don’t protect it, no one else will.

3. Break the Addiction to “Busyness”

If you’re constantly moving, constantly working, constantly doing - ask yourself: What am I avoiding?

Because real rest? It’s uncomfortable at first. If you’ve been running on adrenaline for years, slowing down feels wrong. Like you’re doing something bad.

That’s not an accident. That’s conditioning.

But here’s the truth: Rest isn’t laziness. It’s fuel.

4. Prioritize Nervous System Regulation

Burnout isn’t just mental - it’s biological. Your nervous system is in a constant state of fight-or-flight. If you don’t actively regulate it, you’ll stay stuck in survival mode.

🌀 Try breathwork.
🌀 Get outside - nature resets your system.
🌀 Move your body - not for fitness, but for relief.

You can’t “think” your way out of burnout. You have to feel your way back to safety.

5. Surround Yourself with People Who Get It

Most people won’t understand why you’re choosing to step back, slow down, reclaim your life. And that’s okay.

Find the ones who do.

That’s why I created Phoenix Rising, my small group coaching program for high-achieving women who are done playing the burnout game. It’s for the ones who are ready to lead differently, live differently - be different.

You do NOT have to do this alone.

Burnout Is Optional - But You Have to Choose It

For years, I thought burnout was just part of the job. Part of success. Part of me.

It wasn’t.

And it’s not for you either.

You don’t have to run yourself into the ground to be worthy.
You don’t have to burn out to be successful.
You don’t have to prove yourself at the cost of your health, your joy, your life.

The system won’t change overnight. But here’s the good news: you can start today.

What’s your experience with burnout? I’d love to hear your story. Share in the comments - what’s the one thing you’ve been telling yourself, “I’ll rest once this is done”? Let’s start a conversation, together.

Brave One, this is your permission to stop surviving - and start living.

Recovering from burnout isn’t just about surviving - it’s about thriving. As I wrote in this piece (Midlife Transitions: How to Navigate Change and Thrive in the Next Chapter), midlife transitions often present the perfect opportunity to realign your life with your values and reclaim your sense of purpose.

Sources & Further Reading

• How Burnout Became Normal - And How to Push Back Against It (Harvard Business Review)

• The Tell Tale Signs of Burnout ... Do You Have Them? (Psychology Today)

Your burnout is not proof of your success. It’s a sign that something needs to change.

The only question is, Brave One: Will you change it?

P.S. Reclaim Your Life - One Bold Step at a Time

If you’re ready to break free from burnout, you don’t have to do it alone.

In my Phoenix Rising small group coaching program, we create the space for you to pause, reflect, and rebuild a life that aligns with your values and vision. Together, we tackle the root causes of burnout and guide you toward sustainable change, one step at a time.

If you’re looking for personalized support, my 1:1 coaching program is designed for high-achieving women ready to redefine success and reclaim their energy.

This is your time. Your moment to rise.

👉 Join the Phoenix Rising Waitlist (Next cohort starts May, 2025)
👉 Apply for 1:1 Coaching (Transformational support for those ready to lead and live differently)

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